Celebrating my Husband

Today Mike Cope's blog is about marriage. Marriage can be life and marriage can be death. Life and death are determined by so many factors in a marriage. Life in a marriage can feel like sunshine on a cold winter day...warmth to stretch out in and strong light to lie in when all around is cold. It doesn't mean that you don't have to go back into the cold, it is just respite when needed. That life is generated by love...of God and each other, communication, respect, shared stories, shared laughter and tears, and also lives independent of each other...work worthy of our calling. The death comes from the opposite of all these things....not wanting the best for each other, losing faith in God, refusing to share who we really are, not honoring each other, closing ourselves off, or becoming so enmeshed in each other that there is no distinction between husband and wife.
This has brought my thoughts to my husband. My choice for a husband was careful and cautious. The Spirit pushed me to the right person even while I was being careful and cautious.
Tim turned 51 on Sunday. Thank you, Everett and Anne, for raising a thoughtful and respectful little boy. Thank you, all those friends who played football and baseball and basketball with Tim, for nurturing his love of play. Thank you, church family, for surrounding him with love and teaching him about Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for continuing to shape him.
Tonight I called from work for him to pick me up because the SUV is still in the shop....remember the tire story? I asked if he could come get me from work and his reply was, "I'd love to."
I love him and his gentle spirit.

Life is Always Interesting

Our house is starting to feel more like home. There remains much work to be done but I feel like we have turned the corner. There are more pictures on the walls and more books on shelves. We are seeing more of the floor and it feels warmer and more family friendly.

This week I picked up two prints that I had framed. Prints done by Jack and Jill Maxwell...one of Jesus and one of Jonah. They are two of my favorites that they have done and I couldn't be more pleased with how they came out. I need to have Jack and Jill over to see them.

Yesterday was busy but fairly normal until later in the evening...our friend, Calvin, came over to see if he could help with two issues that we are having with our new house. One is a plumbing issue...water backs up in the sink and dishwasher when you run the garbage disposal. The other issue is electrical...light in kitchen popped when turned on and the switch sparked. Calvin gave us advice on both and then had dinner with us. Always fun to have Calvin around. Calvin then drove Tim to pick up his SUV. He had 4 new tires put on. Tim was only about a mile away from the shop when one of the wheels just fell off. His cell phone was on the bed charging but luckily Calvin was driving just in front of him and stopped with him after he lost the wheel. Calvin tried to call me but I was on the phone with my mom and didn't recognize his cell phone number and chose to ignore it. That was nice of me, huh? The car had to be towed back to the shop and they are going to fix it all and even wanted to fire the guy who didn't put the lug nuts back on. I don't think that they should fire him but maybe strongly talk to him. So we are down to one car until that can be fixed. I am glad that Tim was driving on a road that he had to drive slowly on and not the highway.

What's interesting in your life right now?

Looking Back and Looking Forward

On Tuesday I turned 46 years old. I don't mind being older, just don't like for people to call me old. That doesn't happen very often but I still don't like it, not even in jest.
I don't feel older or any different. I do feel though that every year when my birthday rolls around I want to change something in my life....sometimes it is lose weight, sometimes a career change, sometimes start something new that I have never done before. Just a couple weeks ago I started something that I have never attempted before...I started writing a children's book. I am excited about it and I think that it is fun to do. For now I will keep the subject matter a secret but maybe someday it will be published and you can buy and read it for yourself....with pictures and everything.

I have a prayer request for all of you. Someone that I have known and loved my whole life has cancer. Her name is Sarah Duckworth Bergquist. She has 4 children, 9 years old and younger. She has ALL...acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I was her babysitter when she was little. I was her camp counselor as she was growing up and now she is my friend. She is one of those people who always make you feel so good about yourself. The last time I talked with her she kept going on and on about how I still seem so young and look so young. See why I like her so much, even when I have had so many birthdays. She has always been gentle and kind but also deep and a seeker of the truth. Please, please pray for healing for her and for the comfort of her family....her husband and her small children, and her parents and siblings that I love so much.

Many happy returns of the day to all of you.

Not Quite in Touch

Yesterday in worship we sang two songs that made me think of my husband. I was singing on the praise team and purposely looked at him during Joyful, Joyful and then again during The Doxology. Joyful, Joyful was the processional song at our wedding almost 23 years ago. Sweet memory. Tim's dad, Everett Danley, loved The Doxology and would lead it at the dinner table. Another sweet memory, even sweeter since he has been gone.

What I didn't know
...we also sang Ancient Words. I love the song and the words to that song but I never knew how much it meant to Tim. Tim told me yesterday that it makes him think of his parents and how much he misses them. They were true to those ancient words...so I can see how that would make him think of them.

I always want to know all those little things about the people I am closest to and it bothers me when one of those little details has slipped by me.

I love that Tim cries when he hears those words and I love that he misses his parents.

Youngest Daughter

Last night I came home from work late. I think that it was a little after 10:30 when I got home. It had been a terribly rough day at work with everyone starting in terrible moods. Those moods improved as the day wore on but the workload got tougher. I hadn't fully recovered from my 16 hour day on Tuesday. I was tired and cranky. I know that I took that out on my husband. I have been missing him lately because he has been so wrapped up in schoolwork that I don't have much time with him. That should get better about the middle of next week.
I walked into my room after I had been home for awhile and on the bed was a book with a card for me...all wrapped in a ribbon. It was an early birthday present from Lucy. She is 13 and we don't always see eye to eye but there are so many times that I see myself in her. The book was a book that she had checked out from the library and we both had read....Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie. Great story about a middle schooler. I love that she wanted to give me the book for my birthday and I love that she wrote inside the book for me. That is a family thing that we always do and we always do that when we give a book as a present.
But....the most precious thing that she gave me was the note. It was written on a notecard with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt....

" many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. to handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. anger is only one letter short of danger. if someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault. great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. he who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he loses faith, loses all. beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. learn from the mistakes of others. you can't live long enough to make them all yourself. friends, you and me....you brought another friend...and then there were three....we started a group....our circle of friends.... and like that circle...there is no beginning or end....yesterday is history. tomorrow is mystery. today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

Inside she wrote:
Mama, I love you sooo much. I know that I don't tell you that as much as I should but I do! Thank you so much for reading to me before bedtime when I was little and thank you for reading the same books as me now. Thank you for saying such sweet things about my writing and for encouraging me to be a writer!! Thank you for being such a great Mom to me, Corey, Drew and Mary Kate. This book and card and cranes aren't enough to show you how much I love you. So I hope that just saying it will work just as well....Lucy Claire

Thank you, Lucy, for living in the present and taking that time to let me know that you love me and that you appreciate my efforts as your mom. I know that I am not the perfect mom but I love you more than you will ever know.

So Fun

This was a busy weekend. We are still trying to get settled in our new house. Ken and Jeanette came again this weekend to help us in this crazy process. We painted our hallway a lovely brown...Cafe Miel...sort of milk chocolate or coffee with milk. We primed our baby poop green bathroom and now it is so white that you can hardly see in there.
This was also ACU's homecoming weekend. With Ken and Jeanette here, we decided to go to the parade and then walk over to the sculpture. We also went to the homecoming musical on Saturday night...Singing in the Rain. They actually had rain on the stage...so cool.
I saw so many old friends...Derenda Hogue Conder, Suzanne Levy ?, Janaye Hale Weldon, Leslie Conway Speck, Cheri Wilson Luttrell, Holly Lewis....I know that I am forgetting someone but it was fun to catch up with them. We don't look all that different, do we?
It was great to watch Jack and Jill draw again yesterday. They amaze me. They are so talented and yet so humble and so fun. I wish more people were like that about their talents.

Tired and Laughing

What is it about being tired and not being able to stop laughing? Whenever I am really tired, laughter comes easily.
Today at work we were very tired and laughed so hard with each other.

Do you laugh when you are tired? Do you laugh with the people that you work with?

Not Adequate

After reading over my post from yesterday, I felt like what I said about Drew wasn't adequate...not adequate enough to describe the joy that he has brought to our lives. I told funny and sweet stories about him but didn't really describe who Drew is and was.
Drew has always been loved by his peers and by the adults he comes in contact with. He was a well-behaved student and a good friend. From the time Drew was very little people were surprised at his intelligence. While still little enough to ride in the seat of the grocery cart, he could add double digit numbers in his head. He was reading on his own at 4 years old and started kindergarten at 4 because I thought it would be ridiculous to keep him home when he could already read. In first grade he was way ahead of the rest of the class academically and would help everyone else in his class after he was done with his work. His teacher talked about how sweetly he helped his classmates and never made them feel stupid or inadequate...he just explained and waited patiently for them to understand.
Drew has been a great adult friend. I love talking with him about life, spirituality, music and my friends and his friends. We share much of the same slant on life, so that makes all of that conversation easy. Drew is very much like me in so many ways...he can be intense about the things that he loves, his emotions are readily available, he has lots of differents kinds of friends, he loves to think deeply, and doesn't mind being different. But Drew is also like Tim...most of the time laid back, loyal and able to keep doing a job that no one else wants to do, patient with people and their shortcomings.
Thank you, Drew, for being such an amazing part of our lives.
I love you.

Drew

I missed blogging about Drew on his birthday because I was with him in Nashville. I love that when I go to Zoe I get to spend time with Drew.

Drew turned 22 on October 6th. He was an easygoing chubby baby whose smile was readily available for anyone who chose to talk with him. My mother called him Sunshine because he was always so happy. Drew loved books from infancy on. As a toddler he would sit by the bookshelves and look at each book intently and then toss it aside until there was a huge mound of books beside him. He also loved balls and would play catch with anyone who was willing. One day while I was holding him and he was holding a ball Grandma Danley asked him to throw the ball to her. It was a tiny football that he was holding and he threw it to Grandma so hard that he beaned her in the chest. We could all hear the thud. Grandma laughed.

Drew was a sturdy little boy with short cowlicked blonde hair and that ready smile still available. He played hard and he read hard. When he was four we lived in a townhouse community where the kids played outside along the sidewalks that connected our houses. One day Drew came running in the house with blood all over him and chanting like a mantra...Corey made me go too fast, Corey made me go too fast. Corey is his big brother. He had 6 stitches inside his mouth. The first of many injuries.
Once while putting him to bed I leaned down to his bottom bunk and kissed him goodnight and said...Goodnight my bookreader. And he replied rather indignantly...I am not a booger eater. Corey and I were laughing so hard that we couldn't tell him what I really said.

Sports became more and more important to Drew as he grew. He played soccer, basketball, tennis and baseball but soccer was his true love. I have loved watching him play since he was four but mostly I love the time spent with him in the car going to and from games. Time to talk and listen to music...it was always Bob Marley on the way to games...and time to reflect on the game on the way home. Great memories.

Drew has grown into a young man that I am very proud to call my son. He gathers many friends on his journey and is still thinking and reading and playing soccer. He is still in college and not sure of the direction that his studies are taking him but pushing forward anyway.

Drew, I wish for you a calling to a vocation that is fulfilling and full of purpose. Friends that will follow you all of your life. A relationship with Jesus that keeps growing and evolving. A marriage that will sustain you. And enough success at all of those to make you happy.

Happy 22nd birthday Drew!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jog

I am home and still in complete and utter chaos. I called home from DFW and Lucy told me that the house was still just as crazy messy as before. She hesitated and then said...well, maybe worse. She was right.
Zoe was wonderful and I am more in love with Lauren Winner than I was before. She is very Bohemian in appearance and kind of soft-spoken. Jeremiah said that we would be fast friends. I think that he is right.
I will write more later about this weekend. Just letting you know that I am home and alive and trying to dig my way out of this crazy move.

Still Chaos but Leaving

I am leaving this morning and our house is still chaos. I said that I wouldn't mention Lauren Winner until Zoe...so, now that I am leaving...I can't wait to hear her speak. Her books have been amazing. She is so brilliant and so honest. I hope her speaking style is similar to her writing. I will tell you all about it when I get home to this crazy house. Oh, by the way, I found my clothes and I don't have to wear my pajamas to fly to Nashville. Good thing, huh?

Alive but Not Quite Kicking

We are in our new house but it is absolute chaos. Thanks to our family that we call small group, we now almost have all our belongings in the new house. It is too many belongings for our smaller house but that will have to be worked out slowly. I wore mismatched socks to work today...one pink and one white. Tomorrow I will need to uncover all my clothing so that I can pack to go to the Zoe conference. I hope I can find matching socks for the trip. I might have to wear my pajamas on the plane if I can't locate all my clothes. That would be bad. Sally might not want to fly with me if I wear my pajamas.