Dance with me

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Missing a Little Girl

Today I am missing a certain little girl. I wish that she lived closer to us and was more a part of our everyday lives. She is adorable and affectionate, funny and smart, stubborn and sweet, active and silly. I miss her and wish that I could spend today with her.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Stephanie just put up pictures on facebook of our EOX weekend in Colorado. I have been thinking about our time together ever since I left all of them. Stephanie is right. It has been hard to put into words what that weekend meant to me. None of us were best friends from college...well, maybe with the exception of Paula and Stephanie....but the rest of us were friends and were tightly connected with each other through other friends. We had many shared experiences and remembered mostly the same people. But... the connection with each one of them is so strong.
When I look at the picture I see their stories but even if I didn't know them, I would look at them and see beautiful women with light in their eyes.
I also look at the picture and wonder why they are my friends. How did that happen? I never felt like I measured up to their greatness. And yet, they have always made me feel more beautiful, more talented, nicer, and more loved than I actually am. How do they do that?
I don't want to go so long before we see each other again. I like feeling beautiful, talented, nice and loved. Who wouldn't? Wouldn't you love for them to be your friends?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Sigma Theta Chi

I just had 3 amazing days with my Siggie sisters in Colorado! The weekend is so hard to put into words. Barb let us stay in her beautiful cabin with awesome views of the mountains. We had more food than we could possibly consume in one weekend. We pulled out old photos and spent hours trying to figure out who some people were in the pictures. Some of those pictures are incriminating and that made them even so much funnier. I did expect there to be more of us but I believe that the 7 who came were led by the Spirit to be there.
I can close my eyes and still see all their faces. I could have seen them in some random place and I would have recognized them immediately. They are all still beautiful and in many ways more beautiful than college days. We have all journeyed to where we are but are survivors. Survivors who have walked through the deep waters but we were not alone. We all told parts of our stories to each other and even now the tears come as I see those faces again as they shared and seeing the others' faces as they took in those stories.
We laughed at all our old inside jokes and made new ones.....Santa Fe, Frisky.....
Sunday morning we shared communion with each other. Shelley was right. That is a communion that I will always hold in my heart. Hearing all of those voices praying and looking each other in the eye as we said, "The body of Christ broken for you." and holding our communion cups up as in a toast as Barb looked us in the eyes and prayed sweet words over the blood of Jesus.
I am so glad that I was there. I am exhausted but full. Full of memories and full of the love that I received from these amazing women.
Shelley and Barb, now I am going to say this right....If you hadn't organized this, we wouldn't have had such an amazing weekend and we wouldn't being feeling this contentment this Monday morning. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Jantsen's Gift

I read Jantsen's Gift by Pam Cope as soon as I could get my hands on it. Pam is related to my friends, Mike and Diane Cope, and her daughter, Crista, was my daughter's roommate at ACU. I already had a great respect for Pam and the life she was living. Living to set others free. I knew how much I loved her daughter and what an incredible friend she is to my daughter, Mary Kate. We also got to know Pam's family while in Missouri for Crista's wedding. Mary Kate had already fallen in love with all of them and then we got to stay with Pam's sister, Cheryl, and her husband, Mark. They were so gracious and so, so fun. So, yes, I already had history with this family before I read the book and I knew the story and yet, wow, I felt like I had been knocked down as I started reading it.
The first night I started reading was a Monday. I was in bed and reading and Pam's grief swept over me so hard that I couldn't stop crying. I had to close the book but the tears wouldn't stop. Pam, you were so honest and so real with us in writing this book that I felt like I was walking beside you and it was a hard place to be. That very next night I was outside doing yoga with my class beside Jacob's Dream at ACU and I was fascinated with a hawk that kept flying over and over us. I had never seen a hawk there before but it seemed to be there for a reason. I didn't know until farther into the book the significance of that hawk.
Pam, your words were convicting and so full...full of grief, full of anger, full of a deep sadness, full of the Spirit, full of the joy of redemption, full of children, full of torment, full of the pull of our hearts. You let us in. Thank you.
The love that Pam feels for the children of the world has been life changing for so many. I only hope that these words lead more to the kind of life that Pam is leading. Like Pam says near the end of the doesn't mean that you have to travel the could mean your very own family, your street, your neighborhood, your get it....Pam, we get it.
Thank you.