Heart Thoughts

I have been feeling lately that friends are not happy with a choice I have made. That choice is to stay in the Church of Christ. I keep running this around in my brain and so now I will pour some of those thoughts out...they may not make sense but here they are.
Some of my earliest memories are of church. Sun streaming in huge glass windows. Dogwoods blooming in that floaty way that they bloom outside those same huge glass windows. Glass communion cups tinkling in their holders. My beautiful mother in a lime green dress with pearls and pretty pink lipstick. Patent leather shoes that won't touch the floor. Little white socks folded over. Voices lifted in praise. Comfortable people who love me and teach me about Jesus. Aunt June and all her silliness that gets me in trouble and probably a thump on the head. Friends who will be my friends my whole life....not everyday friends but friends that will always be there for me.
Another church...same heritage....completely different feel. Old wooden floor. Loud, boisterous singing. Feet tapping out the time on the old wood floor. Outhouses. My beloved Grandma in a flowered dress and a flashy hat singing in her little voice. People who love me...not truly for who I am ......but because I belong to a certain family that they already love. This church has a dusty parking lot and in the August heat men stand out there in the dust and smoke.
Moving on to young motherhood. Again, different church...same heritage but again, different feel. Yes, we left this church in the midst of conflict but from those early years there there was so much good. Padded pew covered in cheerios, books, and toys. Hands resting on an expectant belly. Sweet curly heads resting under my chin. People who loved my children as their own. Returning home from WaMaVa retreats exhausted but content. Our son in the waters of baptism.
Yes, I am still attending a Church of Christ and yes, there are still moments that are frustrating to me but there is also so much to love.
Voices and hands lifted in song. Children who feel loved and cherished as part of the church family. Thinking. Witnessing often people taking care of each other. An atmosphere of tolerance. Humor.
Yes, I wish that our next preacher could be a woman and yes, I wish that we had female elders. And yes, I know that I could be somewhere else and they would have that but I am willing to walk this journey with this family that I am a part of right now. I don't want my friends who have left the Church of Christ to think that I am saying that they should've stayed....not at all. I only want respect and support for my choice.
I am sure that there will be more later on this but this is just what is in my head at this very moment.