Connections

Today I received in the mail a wonderful surprise. My friend Pixie's husband sent me three DVDs of pictures...one of Pixie, one of Trudy and one of Lydia. Tears flowed freely as I watched these.
There are some friends who are more like family than friends. Pixie is one of those. Somehow our pain is wrapped up in their pain. Our joys have been shared. Our tragedies belong to each other. Our hearts are linked for eternity. I am glad for those connections. These are the friends who will take you in during your most difficult days. These are the friends who will cheerlead for you while you are attempting something new.

I didn't watch these DVDs in a specific order but I did start with Lydia...just happened to pick this one up first. Seeing her precious baby face and watching her grow up again as the pictures progressed made it evident again the incredible loss that we all experienced with Lydia's accident. I know that loss can never be reversed but seeing Lydia's joy after the accident...smiles. openmouthed surprise, contentment, enjoying her family, loving her mom and her sister...I have missed so much of her life and for that I am sad. She is beautiful and amazing and radiant. I would love to see that girl again sometime soon.

Next I watched Pixie's DVD. So many of those images will stay with me over the next several weeks. I need some time to process them. Tiny, precious Pixie in braids and dress coats and patent leather shoes and bathing suits...tentative smiles and serious little faces. Pixie as a teenager...beautiful and elegant and yet somehow I just can feel her intelligence shining through. College and Jim and life began to change. Pixie with her students...teaching, laughing and just taking them in. Pixie as a mother...wow, do we ever realize how much being a mother is going to grab our hearts? I can see it in Pixie's eyes...intensity, adoration, protectiveness and overwhelming love. Then the tragedy of Lydia's accident and again she is incredible. She is strong and she is the force that keeps Lydia moving forward and keeps her healthy and helps her find her place in this world. And now seeing her dazzling smile with her new husband...who, by the way, I adore...makes the tears start flowing again. As my friend, Ann, says...Happiness is a great accessory.

And last I watched my Trudy's DVD. Trudy...how do I explain how I feel about this girl? As a little girl she literally sparkled. She was intense...she could be intensely sad and intensely happy. She could sing at the top of her lungs and yet whisper the sweetest things to you while riding next to her in the car. She loved to read and dance and swim and was so smart that you could never be one step ahead of her. Trudy watched her sister as she struggled after the accident and yet wasn't about to give in to the incredible ache that such tragedy brings. She rose above it. She could make Lydia laugh and Lydia would light up when Trudy came into the room. Trudy has grown into a woman that I would want as one of my closest friends. She is fun and smart and quirky and smart and adorable and smart and stylish and smart...did I say that she is smart?

So much joy today from those pictures. Yes, some sad memories but mostly the warm feelings of connection. They are my family and I don't where I would be without their love and support through my life's journey.

Pix, thanks for talking to me on the bridge. We didn't know then that it was just the beginning.