Nineteen

I have just been reading a book that is titled The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade. This book is by Ann Fessler, who herself was adopted and has her own story. This book is honestly written. This honesty brings with it power and emotion and reminds us of injustices doled out to young women during this time period.
Finishing this book today, on Mary Kate's birthday, has made me think of all those women who went through childbirth and then were told that it was best that this baby live with someone else. I know from the very moment that I viewed each of my children I was in love. My birth experience with Mary Kate was the best of all my children...not the fastest...just the best. I had control and it was wonderful. I was able to make choices...isn't that what we all want? choices?
We already had two sons and were delighted that she was a girl. I announced that she was a girl and then Tim and I started to cry. She wasn't tiny...just a little over 8 pounds and 22 inches long. She was devastatingly beautiful to me. Her brothers were also immediately in love and she watched their every move from the moment she first saw them.
She is nineteen years old today and I adore the young woman that she has become...strong, bright, elegant and still devastatingly beautiful. I do love being with her but I would love for just a little to have that baby or toddler or preschooler or 7 year old or middler schooler or high schooler back. Just for a little. I would love to hold her in my lap or read to her or brush her hair or sing to her.
I do thank God everyday for her.
Mary Kate, I hope that you feel loved today while you start your last year as a teenager. Wow, next year, 20!